Right before I was saved, I had come across resources from other entrepreneurs and truth seekers like myself - those who have broken out of matrix, paved our own way and genuinely wanting to seek for purpose/ God/ Truth, many of which travelled around the world to seek for the esoteric mystery and the supernatural truths - which evoke curiosity and slowly posture my heart to receive Jesus when I finally had an encounter with Him. 

It was right after a mastermind with some worldclass entrepreneurs talking about future-proofing in the age of AI, and I was recommending all the new-age spiritual concoction activities to do in Bali. I can't make this up even if I tried - but I love the sense of humour God has and most importantly a reminder from God that, He knows me by name and there's nothing basic and conventional about me.

One of my purpose and my why has always been having conversations that heal and leads to growth, evolution. The conversation most think of, but never speak about.

That was why I spoke about sexuality, psychedelics and business as a vehicle of change - openly in the past years.

(I was advocating for the wrong team but didn’t know it. I thought it was life giving until it’s not.)

And - this is the time to share the Truth. 

Jesus died for us on the cross, to free us from guilt and shame - through the power of His blood. The way to renew our mind and create real change is to - let go of the past, make peace with it and decide who we want to be going forward.

The work is finished on the cross.

My intention for these stories is to be that curiousity nudge and open door for you and/or knowing that you are not alone in your walk with the Lord (too far out the matrix and even the "Christian" world feels... different).  

These are my real-time testimony in the past 365 days of walking with the Lord. 

Where I am right now - the greatest and my favourite transformation yet - I am alive to tell the story. 

A lot of what I speak of - is the unseen forces that go beyond the surface. If you’re only a logic and surface-level kinda human, a lot of this probably don’t makes sense to you. Taking it literally might also seem like a direct attack on you. This is not the same as “conspiracy theories”. I am not here to challenge your belief on there’s no such thing as good and evil (greatest lie of satan). So if you don’t believe in spirit or you think soul-led is the same as spirit-led, and are not willing to see things differently or unable to learn from someone you disagree with, this is your call to exit this right now.

I am also very aware that many has experienced religious trauma and there are also many churches which haven’t been the best example. 

This is definitely beyond my pay grade to convict you of something you adamantly disagree with - it is the job of the Holy Spirit. 

It is between you and Jesus - your beliefs are yours and your responsibility.

I am very fortunate that I have no religious trauma, my story is one of getting to know God in my journey of self discovery.

I have done and lived the underground/ taboo life for years - half a decade - the different things where good hearted people go into, in their attempt to seek healing. “Conscious” relationships, sexuality as a portal to spirituality, psychedelics and plant medicines - many are not educated or even known about the dark side or who they’re doing business with. The price they pay with connecting the source of such power.

I want to make it very clear - I have renounced everything in the “new age” for they’re the counterfeit. The seed is rotten and demonic.

HOWEVER, I also stand on the fact that it is a journey of unravelling and sanctification, AFTER making the decision to follow Jesus.

There are wrestles and it is not a matter of - life will be Business As Usual after you give your life to Jesus.

There are corners and deepest parts of your psyche that you have to reconcile with Jesus.

I had to go through a season of full sanctification. Just like how a recovery alcoholic should not be around bars and alcohol until he/she is fully sober. This is for me - around new age and my past practices. I put them away, gave them all out - focus on putting Jesus first the past year. Renewing my mind with the word - which I can now use the word to understand the experiences of my new age.  

This is my journey, as a truth seeker, an entrepreneur - who ended her search when Jesus found me. 

I pray that may these words and stories expose the lies that is so close to Truth, that you are finally set free from the chains that keep you bondage, and most importantly encounter the love and Truth of Jesus. Amen! 

All paths and rabbit hole leads to Jesus as the way, the Truth, the life.  

Throughout my 20s, I was drinking a lot. In the years that shaped me, I didn’t have community, support and guidance of my own. I wanted to create a new identity when I moved to Australia and I did.

I moved to Bali for entrepreneurship, but it revealed my soul calling for help and it helped in many ways. But they were bandaid and I was just swapping one addiction for another.

The root of rejection, my distrust in authority and over-responsibility were still there, I just replaced it with hedonism.

For years, I thought I had found the “truth”.

I thought it was my soul path, I thought I was called to the “sex priestess path”.

I thought the “divine feminine awakening” is breaking free of patriarch oppression.

The freedom that the enemy promises sounds so good - that you think you’re free and liberated. That you’ve cracked the ancient codes.

That you finally “broke free” of the matrix.

Only to realise - it’s leading you astray from the true destiny God has for you. 

The fact is - many people I know and myself included - were hurt, broken, good hearted people seeking for healing, to overcome trauma.

We want to feel and get better, we don’t believe in prescriptions or “mental health” crisis.

We want to take matters into our own hands - until we fall into the path of the enemy.

The way to heaven looks like hell and the way to hell looks like heaven.

Here’s what I want you to know (as the living testimony of God’s grace, as the Prodigal Daughter being summoned home by the Father)

No one is TOO far out for God to redeem. God is good. God is your protector. He is planting seeds, sending out messengers if you simply open your heart to receive. He does not forsake you. He loves you.

Today, I am alive to tell the story. 

I played with fire - deliberately.

The love and light side of new age was too vanilla for me - I went straight to the taboo, to the dark - with the intention of bringing the taboo into light and dissolving shame - especially around sexuality and our desires.

I was hurt and I didn’t believe in monogamous relationships, so I applied my “I don’t conform to the world. Question everything and stay curious to find the answer” to the world of taboo and kink.

A “safe container” where I could finally surrender and submit - which is what we were biologically designed as women.

I thought “consciously” choosing to explore taboo and kink makes it ok.

I attempted to give “open relating” a go but it was a hard no from my biological signal.

I studied extensively all the fem-masc dynamics, polarities and tantra - which from my personal experiences were the most damaging compared to all that I’ve explored. I had to spend many years unlearning and surrendering it all to Jesus to restore. It was a very important chapter of my book, but it is not the entire book.

I am so grateful and thankful for the protection and Jesus relentless pursuit of me.

That when that ideas/ teachings were planted in me, I had already chosen to be celibate and God had planted the desire in my spirit of wanting to become a mum.

I was still practising sex magick but on my own (no ungodly soul ties - just got myself some incubus spirit that needs to be delivered)

This is not a war against women, but war for our souls.

This is a war against hell, against the principalities and the false teachings/ practices that are literally harvesting our souls and bodies through the lies we've been fed. 

No - you do not need to use your body as a channel, or your womb to heal another person or purify his pain.

No - there’s nothing sacred about offering yourself to transmute energy.

There’s nothing healing about that.

Many of y’all have been here since the days where I spoke out a lot about sexuality as a portal to god, ayahuasca, psychedelics and a range of different practices. It worked until it doesn’t.

I’ve always said - the demonic power does not care about our heart.

An open door and legal access is all it requires to wreck havoc.

The intention was great - how I went about it, the spirits I engaged it (it was a few years of finding god through sex) and using myself as a vessel to channel things for others, was not very wise.

Jesus is the light when all I saw was darkness.

Jesus met me when I had nothing and gave me everything that I didn’t know I needed.

Jesus is the ONLY WAY when it seemed like there was no way out.

My greatest insecurity as a powerful woman, an entrepreneur who's driven, creative and ambitious, has always been around love.

Will I ever meet the man who could handle my power, as much as my sensitivity and tender heart?

It doesn't help that when I am in my zone of genius, doing what God has created me to be, doing what I love - I was always met with the comment of "you're such a boy/ man" (including my own mother). 

This was the reason why I went on a soul searching journey, in search for love, only to find myself looking for love in all the wrong places, finding power in counterfeit identity and sex magic (it feels intoxicating at that time but it sure was the highway to hell).

This is a huge part of my testimony.

All it took was to admit that I am broken and there’s no way I can fix myself. This is when my heart posture is ready to receive Jesus as my saviour. It turns out - I do need to be saved after all.

I remember praying a prayer back in 2023- if there’s one love story written by God, let it be mine. (That was when I believed in a creator, but knew nothing about Jesus).

And my God (and all our God if we chose to believe) is a promise keeper.

My testimony is the greatest love story of all (not just for me, but for humanity) - He loves us so much that He sends His son to die for our sins.

Jesus has been pursuing me after I prayed that prayer, even before I knew it was Him.

All the way to making Himself known, loving me when I couldn’t love myself.

Filling every bit of my soul and spirit, with His love, when I had nothing left to give.

Filling me with His living water, in so much overflow that it overcame all the bitterness, hurt and disappointment that I experienced.

So much overflow that I learned how to smile again, feel the joy again and most importantly HOPE.

To be reminded of - what a great time to be alive (whether it’s the valley or peak of the mountain)

Jesus is the heart surgeon that made me whole.

He filled the cross void in my heart. 

If you’ve been supernaturally tapped in, spiritually sensitive and have done any sort of tantra/ sex magic rituals, polarity teachings - and wonder if all these supernatural experiences cease after you walk with Jesus.

You do not want to miss the 🔥 in this episode where:

I open up about what it means to carry fire and voice as a woman who has walked out of New Age deception and into the truth of Jesus Christ.

I speak about the weight of using my voice online, the responsibility of silence, and the timing of God when it comes to speaking out. What it means as leaders to examine what we stand for, when to speak, when to pause, and how to carry the weight of holiness without bowing to cultural compromise.

I share my journey through New Age spirituality, psychedelics, and the counterfeit “supernatural,” and how the Holy Spirit redeemed my sensitivity into a true prophetic gift.

I also expose the lies around sexual “liberation,” polarity teachings, and cultural narratives on womanhood, showing how God restored my conviction for covenant marriage, motherhood, and biblical womanhood.

This is shared from my own personal experience.

I did strongly stand for sexual liberation (for it has been something that’s being manipulated by religious and patriarchy). But there’s also the other side that open doors for demonic attack - that’s how Yahweh created the spiritual law REGARDLESS of how we feel about said law, it’s in motion.

The intention is to continue to have such conversation, without the shame AND without promoting open relating/ polyamory/ trauma bond in the name of conscious evolution and being woke.

Jesus died for us on the cross so that we may have a new life. When I no longer feel empty or the need to be loved a certain way, because I am so filled with the love of Jesus - my desire, the identity that is attached to “sexuality” (even it was “intentional”) automatically dissolves.